The sky is slowly changing colors, ushering in the set of storms that will revive this parched state, at least slightly. There is nothing like watching a storm roll in. In one direction it’s scattered clouds amongst a deep blue sky. The other direction is a dark, dull gray; ominous, absolute, and inevitable. I’m really gonna miss Texas storms.
I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic. One third of my final semester is said and done, and it feels like I hit fast forward on my life remote. I can’t believe I’ve lived in Austin for over 10 years. The good, the bad, the laughs and the tears are all being hurdled together in a pile that will soon be part of my past. Isn’t it astonishing how time changes you. The former version of myself is a complete stranger to me – a lost and sad girl crawling her way through duplicate days, wearing mask after Jack-infused mask.
A decade later I stand tall and proud, filled with love and purpose. Utterly comfortable is my own skin and faults. Truthfully, I resemble more the little girl, sitting quietly in her room and daydreaming about different worlds, that I used to be. Everything in between has just been an intermission.
These last weeks, fueled by Pumpkin Spice Lattes and Harry Potter marathons, have screamed by, and I doubt it will stop until Thanksgiving. I’m sure my senioritis will have kicked into full gear by then, and will be replaced by “what the hell am I going to do after college” syndrome. My resume will be fine-tuned and set off into the world, ready to do its thing. And there are interviews in my future. The dreaded interview. Do I have to sell myself? Take my word for it, I will be an excellent and valuable employee. No need for the nerve-racking interrogation.
As a nice aside, tomorrow I will be getting my before pictures and measurements prior to the 90-day challenge my gym is conducting. I mean, the pictures and measurements will be like a right hook to my vanity, but the competition of it will, no doubt, propel me into better achieving my fitness goals. I can’t believe I ever thought I wasn’t competitive. I am totally competitive, it’s just mainly with myself. I could care less about beating somebody else, it’s about doing the absolute best I can possibly do for myself. How else would I have managed to pull straight A’s since starting college a year and a half ago?
Which brings me to today’s post. This for that. Balance. Today I had this insatiable craving for grilled cheese. I’m going to blame Joy the Baker, as her homemade pepper jack grilled cheese post from today had the waterworks of my mouth going into overdrive. But instead of going out and ordering one, I decided to settle for a healthier version. The top picture is one of my lunch today: wheat toast smothered in French goat cheese with a thick slice of fresh tomato and a drizzle of olive oil. Accompanying that is a simple salad made with baby mixed greens that are the most tender and flavorful I’ve ever had. They needed only the lightest coating of dressing, and shine in their simplicity. This meal for the greasy butter and cheese-fest that was originally in my plans. Granted, that would have been wonderful, but also laden with guilt. I inevitably will start eating better once the workout habit settles in, as is customary from my past healthy endeavors, and I’m sure my life will be filled with much more this for that. Balance.
Oh, and by the way, the other picture in this post is of Derek and Ghostface doing the Vulcan Mind Meld. My heart just melted into one sloppy love puddle after I took it.